The Tale of Paul Bunyan

Child: Well, howdy there, lumberjacks! What’s cookin’?

L1: Oofta! It’s been a long day in the forest.

L2: It’s time for a tall tale.

Child: Is that a story about a tall person?

L3: Well, this one actually is about a tall person. The tallest, strongest lumberjack ever—Paul Bunyan.

L1: But wait. Hold your horses. That’s not what a tall tale is.

L2: A tall tale is a kind of story. Tall tales use exaggeration. They have superhuman characters.

L3: And they’re funnier than a goose skiing.

Child: Well then, what are you waiting for? Tell me the tale!

L1: Paul Bunyan was born in Maine. He was huge, even as a baby.

Mother: Dear, we need to make more porridge!

Father: Jeepers! But baby Paul just ate 10 barrels of it!

L2: Paul’s stomach rumbles loudly.

Mother: I know, but he’s still hungry! The rumbling of his giant stomach is shaking the whole house!

Father: Jeepers! Ten more barrels of porridge coming up.

L3: But that was just the beginning of their troubles.

Mother: Dear, our giant baby is getting bigger every day. He doesn’t fit through the door!

Father: Jeepers! I’ll build him a giant cradle.

L1: Soon the cradle was ready.

Father: Let’s try rocking him in his cradle.

Mother: Oh my! That shook the ground so much that all the trees in the forest fell over!

Paul: ACHOO!

Mother: Jeepers! Dear, our giant baby sneezed and blew all the birds in Maine to California!

L2: Soon Paul was a young boy. One day, he was playing by the ocean. He decided to jump in.

Paul: Cannonball!

Villagers: Holy macaroni! He’s flooded the whole village.

Father: We’re sorry!

Villagers: We’ve had enough! Your giant boy has got to go.

Mother: Boo-hoo!

Paul: It’s OK. If I stay here, I’ll just cause trouble.

Father: Here, Paul, I made you 200 ham sandwiches.

Mother: And I sewed you this enormous shirt out of 20 tablecloths.

L3: So Paul left home and walked into the mountains.

Mother and Father: We’ll miss you, son!

L1: Years later, Paul was walking on a chilly winter day.

L2: He saw what looked like four furry blue trees poking out of the snow.

Paul: That’s peculiar.

Babe (with chattering teeth): M-m-mooo! H-h-help me!

Paul: Talking, mooing trees? That’s mighty peculiar!

Babe: M-m-mooo! I’m not t-t-trees! Those are my l-l-legs! I’m an ox!

L3: Paul dug through the snow. Sure enough, there was an ox.

L1: The ox was giant, just like Paul. He was shivering, and his teeth were chattering.

Babe: M-m-mooo! My name is B-b-babe. I was p-p-playing in the s-s-snow, but then I got s-s-stuck. Now I’m f-f-freezing.

Paul: I can see that. You’ve turned blue. Don’t worry, little buddy . . . or, uh, big buddy. Sit by this fire and warm up.

L2: Soon Babe was as warm as a toasted marshmallow. But he was still bright blue.

L3: He stayed that way for the rest of his days.

L1: Paul and Babe became the best of friends.

L2: They were an amusing pair, the giant man and the giant blue ox.

L3: They walked across the United States together.

Paul: Oofta. I’m more tired than a broom after a flour spill.

L1: He began dragging his ax along the ground.

Babe: Paul, look! You’re carving a path.

Paul: Why, so I am!

L2: That path later became filled with water. That’s how the Mississippi River was formed.

Babe: Mooo! Paul, I’m thirsty.

Paul: Oofta. Me too. How about I fetch us some water?

L3: So Paul took his ax and started digging into the ground.

L1: Giant puddles filled with groundwater.

Babe: Gulp. Gulp. Gulp.

L2: These giant puddles are now called the Great Lakes.

L3: The two friends continued on.

Paul: It’s high time we settle down and start a logging camp.

Babe: Mooo. Gooood idea.

L1: Paul hired a team of lumberjacks. They were all named Elmer.

L2: When he needed help, he just yelled . . .

Paul: ELMER!

L3: . . . and all the Elmers came running.

Elmers 1, 2, and 3: Here we are, sir!

Elmer 1: We’ll chop down more trees than an army of beavers.

Paul: Let’s get to work!

1: Babe, Paul, and the Elmers worked hard at the logging camp.

L2: One morning, they were all very hungry.

Elmer 1: I could eat an ox.

Babe: Hey!

Elmer 1: Oh, I mean . . . I could eat a horse.

Elmer 2: I could eat an elephant.

Elmer 3: I could eat 10 elephants!

Paul: Let’s make giant pancakes. You, Elmer, dump 100 bags of flour into that lake.

Elmer 1: Yes, sir!

Paul: Now, Elmer, you mix in 100 eggs.

Elmer 3: Yes, sir!

Paul: Not you, Elmer. The other Elmer.

Elmer 2: Oh, uh, yes, sir!

Paul: And Elmer, stir the batter up with your canoe paddle.

Elmer 3: Yes, sir!

Paul: Now I’ll pour the pancake batter on the giant pan with this wheelbarrow.

Babe: And I’ll flip them with this shovel.

Paul: Breakfast is ready!

Elmer 1: YUM!

Elmer 2: YUM!

Elmer 3: YUM!

L3: There were a lot of happy times at the logging camp.

L1: But soon, people came out West on railroads. They built cities and factories.

Paul: Babe, I think it’s time for us to keep exploring.

Babe: Yes, let’s get moo-ving.

Paul: Goodbye, Elmers!

Elmers 1, 2, and 3: Toodle-oo!

Babe: Tooda-mooo!

Child: So where are Paul and Babe now?

L2: Well, no one knows.

L3: Some say they are way up in Alaska.

L1: Some say if you see a twinkling star up in the Alaska sky, that might be the twinkle of Paul Bunyan’s eye.

Child: That tall tale was better than a warm cup of cocoa on a cold day!